I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
