it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
