i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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