We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
