it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im six kinds of drunk right now
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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