And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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