Non-Jews are for practice
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
