Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.