Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs