Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
