Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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