You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
