I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
