We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize