Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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