I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
