he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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