his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
third nipple confirmed
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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