why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
