some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
