oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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