It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I could fuck to npr.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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