Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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