apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
