I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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