u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
