I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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