you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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