Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
