it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He felt like a one man threesome
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
