i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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