Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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