He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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