we have pet lesbian snakes
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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