I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
do herpes really smell.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
