I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
