you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
