I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
