I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
