capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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