The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I enjoy the company of your penis
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
