i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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