Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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