Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
