From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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