By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
