she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize