he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
