no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
