Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
