At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
