i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize