my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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