K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
