dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
