How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize