She said her name was "party"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
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