you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
