i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
