Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
