I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
