come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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