used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
