Having a random hookup so left but love u
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
