they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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