also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
