If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I DEMAND FORESKIN
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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